How to Overcome Your Fear Now
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” ~ Judy Blume
Fear is absolutely normal. If there is one thing that holds us back from growing and becoming the best version of ourselves, fear is definitely at the top of the list. But at the same time fear has the power to push you outside your normal limits to a space and place you’ve never been before. It is outside your comfort zone that you can truly start to grow and transform, by shifting your perspective of what you’re capable of doing, feeling and achieving. The point is to not let fear prevent you from taking action and going after what you want in life, but rather understand that taking risks and massive action is essential to get you from where you are now to where you want to be – to overcome your fear so that you know and trust just how capable you truly are.
As an American expat living abroad 10 years I know all too well how fear can creep up and paralyse you from moving forward – if you choose to let it. When I first arrived in London, far from the comforts of home, there were many fears I had to overcome, as I had to start all over again – everything from becoming a new and young mother, to making new friends, to starting a career, to finding a new hairstylist. But I knew in my heart it was a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to experience and enjoy a new culture and different part of the world. It was the chance for me to open and broaden my mind and expand my life to something I can only imagine.
Fast-forward to today: I’m living my dream life as a writer, motivational speaker, international coach and yoga teacher. I’m fearless and guilt-free, as I live a life with passion, peace and purpose.
Just back from a week in the French Alps and I’m reminded how skiing is a beautiful metaphor for how we can mindfully overcome our fear and tackle resistance face on. At first try, we may lean back hoping this will slow us down which actually makes us only go away from our skis. When in fact, counter-intuitively, we must lean forward, down the slope towards danger. We must face the slope – face our fears – in the same way we face stress, anxiety and pain. When overwhelmed by fear you should instead work towards moving beyond your self-limits and out of the negative self-talk.
Facing your fears and making a change can be down right scary. I’ve been there and I know. But the reality is that you can overcome your fears – with each small step in the right direction you can change for the better. It’s never too late to face your fears, to learn something new and to live an exciting and full life. There are ways you can move forward beyond your natural resistance, out of your comfort zone and into a place of presence and happiness.
There are certain small steps you can take today to help you overcome your fears, change your life and make a better life, right now. Here are seven ways to overcome your fear:
1. Think positive. Where the mind goes energy flows. Everyday we produce as many as 50,000 thoughts, where our mindset governs our actions leading to the results of our life. Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we chose to believe. Eliminate negative thoughts and choose to believe you can do the very thing you fear by daily reciting positive affirmations that build you up and increase your self-confidence.
2. Wake-up in peace. Knowing you have a big day ahead, I invite you to start your day without looking at your emails, phone, social media, etc.… for at least one hour. Our days are constantly filled with to-dos, technology and stress. Fear creeps in and paralyses us if we allow our ego to take over – give yourself the space and time just to be with you before rushing to start your day. In giving yourself this sacred time you can start your day in peace, which has the power to overflow into the rest of your day.
3. Meditate. Focusing on the breath and sensation can release what’s constricting your physical body, letting you tap into – and work through -what’s happening on a deeper level. It allows you to silence the mind’s clutter, hear your intuition, trust that “You got this” and have the peace to work through and overcome your fear.
4. Say “Thank you”. Starting your day in gratitude has the power to keep your day positive and to attract better experiences. By coming from a place of gratitude you’ll be able to shift your mindset, perspective and behaviour. Instead of seeing your fear as holding you back you can start to see your fear as pushing you forward outside your normal limits to greatness.
5. Be like a child. Remember what it was like when life was full of wonder and adventure? Children have a natural energy for living and enjoying in the moment. Having a child-like mentality can help you begin bust through the fear and just have fun!
6. Get clear. We worry and over analyse situations when we don’t have direction and well thought out plans for our life. Visualise yourself and feel yourself happily and successfully doing what you fear most. Then bring your awareness to the present and notice what steps you would need to do to feel yourself overcome your fear. Taking action towards your meaningful goals to help relieve stress and give you a huge sense of enjoyment and fulfilment.
7. Breathe. Most importantly, if nothing else, what you need most is to just breathe. Close your eyes, put your right hand over your heart centre (middle of your chest), left hand over your lower belly and simply breathe deeply in and out through the nose. This instantly calms your nervous system and brings you into the present moment. In becoming more present with our experience with each breath, we’re able to cultivate a more loving attention toward the future, instead of being fearful and anxious.
If you start feeling fearful about doing something, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What is the cost of me not doing this?” “What will I receive if I do this?” Living a life based in fear, within your comfort zone, can perpetuate the likelihood that your fears will become bigger and ultimately taking over your life. I invite you to make baby steps in doing something daily that scares you. In having a daily practice of stepping out of your comfort zone your confidence will increasingly grow. Before you know it you will be fearless and start living a life based in love – love for who you are, for how far you’ve come, for what you can do and for where you want to be. The path to growth and transformation is an inner job that takes time and commitment, but with each conscious choice you will begin to experience a life more beautifully.
As always, I’d love connecting with you and hear about how you overcame your fear. Head over to the comments section below to share your thoughts.
With love and gratitude,