Within the Mess There is a Message
For months the pain would come and go and at times I’d lie on the floor crying because of how much it hurt. I decided to finally bite the bullet and have an MRI to see what was going on. I remember receiving my results right before boarding a flight back to Europe from Los Angeles.
I had slipped discs in my lumbar spine – all the way from L3 down to L5.
That entire flight I tortured myself thinking what I possibly could have done to bring this upon myself.
Was it from over a decade of flying hundreds of thousands of miles on long-haul flights?
Was it my bad posture as an adolescent, hunching and trying to be like everyone else and smaller than I was?
Was it because of years spent wearing heels and choosing style over comfort?
Was it due to carrying and/or birthing my two beautiful (but big) children?
When I arrived back in Europe, for weeks I was afraid to move, as if I were going to break and so I put a pause on my yoga practice.
But the truth is moving heals.
So eventually (thankfully) I got over the idea my body would break and started to move again by modifying my practice. It consisted of lots of knee-bending, no backbends and coming into child pose when needed.
For over a year I had so many hands on body, so many opinions and thousands of dollars spent in seeking the answer to my pain.
Everything from chiropractor, physiotherapy, acupuncture, acupressure, Thai massage, Reiki master, meditations to Chinese herbs – you name it, I did it and I did it intensively. Everyday I was doing or taking something and every week I had some type of treatment.
And while I fully acknowledge the benefits of both western medicine and holistic methods and believe they were supportive in my healing,
it wasn’t until I stopped seeking the answers outside myself and turned my attention inwards that I truly started to heal.
In order to heal the thoughts and beliefs that are the true source of the pain, we must face our pain head-on.
One way to deal with it is to change our perception of the situation; simply do not give in to it!
While I’ll never know entirely what caused my slipped lumbar discs and for how long they’ve been like that (some people live with slipped discs and never know without any pain) I do believe physical symptoms, ailments, or diseases often have emotional roots with powerful messages.
Causes of symptoms according to Louise Hay, American motivational author and the founder of Hay House, is a good place to start if we’re looking for healing. Illness however mild or severe is an indicator of our emotional state, caused by our thoughts and focus.
In her international bestseller You Can Heal Your Life she shares incredible insight into the spiritual meaning and emotional roots tied to the physical symptoms we experience.
My slipped discs were a wake-up call to something bigger that was happening consciously and subconsciously.
According to Hay back issues represent the support of life. This resonated deeply for me.
I was processing some pretty major life transitions – father passed away a year earlier and I’d just moved my life and family to another country. Through the grief and challenges I had to find and re-establish my roots. I spent so much time “being strong” and (happily) taking care of my loved ones that at times neglected my own self-care.
I needed to S-L-O-W down.
I think as mothers and soulpreneurs we tend to give so much of ourselves whole-heartedly. And while it’s with the most beautiful intention, we must remember to take the time to process our experiences and release our emotions to truly heal.
Any feelings of anger, resentment or heartache that may have not been fully expressed need to release otherwise they stay stuck.
Thoughts and feelings left unexpressed find a way to manifest themselves physically in our bodies.
Our bodies do not lie.
Within the mess there is a message.
After 18 months and thousands of dollars worth of tests and treatments, thankfully I’m now on the other side.
So what was my message?
I learned that it’s okay to reach out, ask for help and to be supported by others. I don’t need to be supermom!
I learned that I can’t be everything and everyone all at once. I wouldn’t want to!
And most importantly I learned that deep down we really do know and it’s about turning off all the clutter so we can hear our own inner guidance – our inner guru. This is the real work – and it’s free!
Do you want to understand what your body might want to teach you?
Do any of these sound familiar:
You currently have or dealt with a physical condition or pain?
You’re harbouring feelings of anger, resentment or heartache?
You want to explore the emotional or psychological roots of it?
If you’ve said yes to any of these above then I encourage you to take some sacred time to reflect on the message your body is trying to tell you.
Here are some takeaways I learned from my own experience and use successfully with my coaching clients:
1. Visualisation exercise:
- Sit somewhere quiet.
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Visualise your physical ailment and notice if it has a shape, colour, or texture.
- Silently or out loud, start a dialogue with it to see what its message is.
- Ask it what is the lesson you need to learn.
- Ask it what do you need to do to help release, heal and move forward.
- Thank it for being a teacher in your life.
2. Journal your gratitude for the ailment.
3. Write down your specific agreements to yourself to let it go – whether that’s finding a coach or therapist to guide you through the process, etc.
Remember this is a time for self-acceptance, forgiveness and compassion. Be kind with yourself.
Allow whatever comes forward to surface and get out.
And most importantly know that it’s OK to be vulnerable and reach out for support.
I encourage you to move out from being a victim and instead move towards looking at the cause or the message without going into a cycle of self-blame.
We don’t experience a physical condition because we did something wrong.
Life doesn’t happen to us. Life happens for us.
If you’re having difficulty understanding what your body might want to teach you I’d be honoured to guide you through your process. Email me here to have a conversation about how I can support you on your journey.
As always I’d love connecting with you and hear how you have or are healing yourself. Head over to the comments section below to share.
Much love and many blessings,