Rarely do I post about us, but today is worth celebrating & sharing
I did it. My clavicle is fully healed, no more fractures, full range of motion in my left wrist, physical therapy sessions (30 in total) complete and lungs are perfect…even after having just recovered from a long bout of covid.
Six months post major accident, emergency surgery and post-surgery complication, I AM healed.
And…my body, mind and soul continues to heal – knowing lessons and blessings will continue to reveal itself from this most painful challenging moment in my life.
A lot of this I owe to my husband Nicolas who was there in all my human messiness, allowing me to lean more into my feminine – to receive love – without having to do anything in return…just receive for being me. He showed up (and continues to) in ways I didn’t even know possible – the healthy masculine.
This is healing.
This is huge.
This is breaking generational patterns for me, backwards and forward.
This is me and my husband Nicolas of 17 years together. He’s not active on social media and rarely do I post about us, but today I thought not only was this moment worth celebrating but also worth sharing.
Everything on earth, including us, has both masculine and feminine energy. Regardless of our gender, we have and we need both. Our work is about how to balance them in a healthy way so that we can live in harmony in a world full of polarity.
As women, we need to encourage our partners to be in their healthy masculine.
You may be wondering, “What does that mean?”
It means allowing your man to let him lead, make him feel like a priority, show him your softer side, and let him be your hero.
Easier said than done? I get it.
For decades I spent many years in my masculine, pushing through the pain because I had no idea what was even possible for me as a woman and in a romantic relationship with a man.
“What does even feel like or look like?” I constantly had on repeat.
You see, I come from a lineage of Asian women in relationships/marriages that had the fear of intimacy at the cost of being controlled and abused. They kept their heads down, not wanting to be seen or heard in fear of stepping out of line as a dutiful woman. They, before me, were scared of showing their true self in fear of being abandoned, alone or kicked out of the family.
But this is a genetic pattern. This is not mine.
And this led to many, painful, years in my unhealthy feminine.
And this is one of the lessons and blessings I took away from my “accident”.
In breaking my bones, to breaking my heart, to breaking my spirit, my “accident” didn’t shatter me but broke me more wide open, expanding to include more and more love, connection and intimacy.
I share this story because women I want you to know that if having incredibly deep and intimate relationships is possible for me, then it’s 100% possible for you too.
This may not be your exact story, but perhaps you resonate with the feeling of longing to be seen, heard and intimate with your romantic partner.
Yes, life is messy. And, it’s incredibly beautiful.
It’s through rupture and repair that we not only fully express ourselves but also fully embody our truth, leading to deeper intimacy.
And when we do the inner work this has the power to affect our relation to everything and everyone around us – our relationships.
Because one thing touches everything.
I know these past years have been challenging for many.
And I also believe that sometimes it is the most challenging years and darkness of nights that alchemise us into more and more of who we truly are.
My new year wish to you is may you continue to slow down, allow yourself to receive, and let yourself be loved by the healthy masculine.
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